Phorcys Harry Potter Drabbles
by Phorcys
Summary: Collected in one place my Harry Potter drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Kitten's Will Eat Your Soul  
Challenge: Dreams  
Character(s):Harry Potter, Voldemort

Hogwarts great hall was stuffed with students. The sound of laughter and talking managed to fill the hall with joyous noise. From invisible hooks spring flowers hung, daffodils, tulips, daises, and marigolds.

Harry Potter sat with his family, Lily was hugging him on his left while Sirius and James fought over who got to sit on his right. Suddenly hundreds of fluffy kittens scampered into the hall, making the kids scream with laughter.

"Arrgghh" Voldemort woke screaming in his dark and gloomy evil fortress. Sweat dripping from his brow. He whimpered to himself.

"It's only a nightmare, just a dream."


	2. Chapter 2

Title:Waterproof Sheep  
Challenge: Dreams  
Character(s):Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, The Squid  
Rating: G

The sun was high in the sky, it was a lazy summer Sunday. Ron was dropping crisps into the lake. As each potato hit the water a tentacle would reach up and snatch it down into the green depths.

Laying on a blanket next to him Harry sighed. Ron watched as a particularly large crisp was snagged. "I wonder if the Squid dreams?"

"Do giant squids dream of waterproof sheep?"

"What?"

"It's a squid Ron it dreams of fish, and water weed."

"Fine, I was just wondering."

Deep beneath them, the Squid dreamed of cute magical girls in short skirts.


	3. Chapter 3

Over 11 million people watch Neighbours every night in Britain and Australia. Thus leading to Snape's one weakness. . . .

Every night during term at five o'clock Serverus Snape could not be found, this was not really noticed because no on really wanted to spend time with the curmudgeon. For years he had given excuses about why he couldn't go to staff meetings, school events, and the birth of his first child.

Eldritch lights spread their glow from under the closed dungeon room door. A student had never looked to see what was happening within. Only the sound of music gave a hint of the depravities that were going on inside. "Neighbours, ever body needs good neighbours . . ."


	4. Chapter 4

Luna's Night Mare

"Mum"

"Yes, Dear."

"What do horses eat?"

Oh, hay and oats. Why?"

"No reason, Mum."

"Fine but just remember to brush your teeth."

Later . . .

"Mum, what do flying horses eat?"

"What, I suppose they eat the same thing as normal horses."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now go to bed young lady."

Even Later . . .

"Mum, what do flying horses, with sharp teeth eat?"

"Tuna Sandwiches."

"White or brown bread?"

"White I guess."

"Thanks Mum."

Luna's Room . . .

"I knew Mum would know."

The Nightmare, grinned and ate another tuna sandwich on white bread.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Garden Monsters  
Challenge: Dragons  
Character(s):Lavender Brown  
Rating: G  
Author's Notes: No one ever says nice things about her.

When Lavender had been seven her big brother Jarred, had told her that a dragon lived at the bottom of the garden. It was the middle of autumn, and their father had just made a bonfire of all the leaves scattered about the garden.

Jarred had explained that the dragon was big, old, and mean. With teeth like the carving knives Mum used on their Sunday roast. It breathed fire and could swallow little girls in one gulp.

Seven years later the Hungarian Horntail swooped over the playing field Lavender screamed and wished her brother had never been born.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Hagrid's Cooking  
Challenge: Dragons  
Character(s):Hagrid, Harry Potter, Norbert  
Rating: G  
Author's Notes Hagrid's cooking reminds me of dwarf bread.

A fierce wailing could be heard from Hagrid's hut. Harry rushed to see what was the matter.

"Oh it's terrible. My little Norbert's sick." There on the wooden table Norbert was lying on his back with his head waving gently from side to side.

"I just left 'em alone for 'alf a minute. Now look at 'em." Norbert hiccuped, a glossy purple bubble drifted from his mouth and floated through the air popping on Hagrid's nose.

Harry peered through the mess in the hut and finally saw the culprit, picking it up he showed Hagrid a half eaten rock cake.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: If Only  
Challenge: 'the end'  
Character(s): Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Dobby  
Author's Notes: I think I created a monster.

"Hi I'm Athena, Xandria, Silvian, Lightstar. I'm half elf, quater veela, seven sixths vampire, four eight's werewolf, and two fifths angel." Hermione had, had to gag Harry, as he had stared screaming when she entered .

"I like boys with glasses and tortured pasts." Harry, who had chewed through his gag screamed.

"I'll Avada myself before that bint touches me." Suddenly Dobby appeared in front of him,

"You shall not harm Harry Potter." With a flick of his hand Athena, blah, blah, blah disappeared. Tears streaming, Harry fell to his knees and hugged Dobby.

"I thought it was the end."


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Jam  
Challenge: 'the end'  
Character(s): Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger  
Author's Notes: Some one isn't really gone until everything that .

"I used up the last of Mum's plum jam this morning."

Hermione glanced up from her papers.

"Well, there's plenty more in the cupboard."

"No there's not."

"Oh well, maybe we can borrow some from Fred."

Ron eased himself into his chair and leaned back.

"No I've already asked and he ran out a couple of months ago. He was going to ask if we had any of Mum's preserves himself."

"Then, Ginny?"

"No, not her, we're the last one's."

"That's the end of it then."

"Some how she never really seemed gone, while there was something in the cupboard."


	9. Chapter 9

An Aunts Thoughts

Petunia had never sat down with the boy and tried to explain why she hated magic. It always seemed self explanatory to her. Ever since that first blasted bird interrupted her families breakfast, all those years ago.

Magic was a weakness, it made you depend on something as ephemeral as a memory. It was fairy gold, and magic lamps.

It'd all disappear in the morning, and you'd be left with nothing, but broken hopes. Real life doesn't give you a second chance and wishing can't solve everything, otherwise her parents would be alive and her nephew wouldn't be an orphan.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: I Feel Fine  
Challenge: 'the end'  
Character(s): Harry Potter, Colin Creevy  
Author's Notes: The song is a butchered version of R.E.M, 'It's the end of the world as we know it [And I feel Fine]

". . .this is the end of the world as we know it . . .". Focused on their performance the singer didn't notice a sneaky presence enter the room and creep up to the shower.

"It is the end . . " Swiftly yanking the curtain aside the bathroom invader shoved a camera in Harry's face.

"Say Cheese." Colin fled screaming. Harry scrambled out of the bathroom after him, foam flying. Only to come to a halt when he reached the common room, where his house mates were all lined up camera's ready, singing along.

"This is the end."


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Dragon's on the Brain  
Challenge: Dragons  
Character(s): Harry Potter, Serverus Snape

"Will sir order the Dragon Fillet on a side of Dragon Oysters or the Dragon Mignon with a delicate Dragon Bile sauce."

Harry stared in shock at the chef.

Suddenly he found himself standing opposite a market. The stall owners were all advertising their goods.

"Chewy Dragon Jerky for sale."

"Two Gallons for this wonderful Dragon Tears, or five sickles for some Dragon Piss."

"Dragon Horn, just what the missus ordered gents."

Harry screamed when he saw Snape order two feet of 'Dragon horn', and woke up.

It was the last time, he swore he'd ever fall asleep studying potions.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: The Beginning of the End  
Challenge: 'the end'  
Character(s): Vernon Dursley  
Author's Notes: What seems like an ending for one person, isn't always that for another.

Vernon stared at the giant of a man that had stormed his little fortress out here on this rock. Only fear stopped him from raging and screaming.

It was the end of normal.

After they had sweat blood to make that boy ordinary. They had fought tooth and nail to keep him normal, if that meant they were a bit tougher on him than Dudley then so be it, he once imagined that the boy would thank him.

Once the pair had left Vernon stomped over to the gaping door way, the dark night closed around him and he sighed.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Scent of Fear  
Challenge: 'weakness'  
Character(s): Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger

Quiet spread through the great hall as Harry Potter entered. Those closest to him tried to ease themselves away. The head table hadn't yet noticed what was happening below. Glaring around him Harry walked down the hall to his seat. No one noticed the candles above Harry's head burn with a blue edged flame.

When he reached his spot, Hermione's eye's began to water. As he slide into his seat, Ron gave a little moan and slumped face down in his potatoes.

Harry sighed "It's really not that bad. I can't help it if I have a weakness for Cabbage."


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Good Boy  
Challenge: 'dirty'  
Character(s):Neville Longbottom

Someone had left the door open. Neville wasn't allowed out side. Granny always told him it was dirty outside, that he could catch some terrible nasty disease and she wouldn't be having with a sick child.

He had been told to sit quietly at the kitchen table while Granny talked to Mrs Scumble. Neville could see birds outside and the grass looked so green.

It was only when Mrs Longbottom remembered to check on Neville did they discover him sitting in the middle of the vegetable garden picking out weeds. Neville smiled up at his Grandmother.

"I think, I like dirt."


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Future Dreams  
Challenge: Dreams  
Character(s):Hermione Granger

What I want to be when I grow up: Hermione Helen Granger age 6 ¾

When I was little [5] I wanted to be a dentist. Just like my Mother and Father. But then Father took me to work one day, when I was sick with the chicken pox that I got off Greg Whitley. And he, that is my Father, had his hands stuck into this ladies mouth and she spat on him. I'm not allowed to spit. So now I want to be a lawyer, they get to work inside and read lots of books. Or a witch.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Astrology, Bah Humbug!  
Challenge: 'Star'  
Character(s): Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Professor Trewlyn

Harry had been cornered again. The teacher couldn't leave well enough alone. This wasn't the first time she had discovered her friend caught by the Professor, too polite to tell her to bugger off. So it was left to her.

"My boy, the stars see blood and death for you."

"Professor. Why should giant balls of flaming hydrogen gas, millions of miles across and billions of light years away; which may or may not already be dead, give a flying fig about us." Hermione felt bad about feeling happy at the look on the teachers face as they walked away.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: It's Good to Be Me.  
Challenge: 'Star'

They had camped outside in the cold, waited four long days with only a thermos of Pumpkin juice and their collectors edition figurines for company, but it was going to pay off.

Some one had met a guy, who knew a guy that swore he had Harry Potter's address. So far they had scared the post owl and sure they had lost all feeling in their extremities days ago, but it was all going to be worth it when they saw Harry.

Meanwhile on an unplottable beach the boy-that-lived was sipping a salt crusted margarita.

"It's tough being a star."


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Follow Yonder Star  
Challenge: 'Star'  
Character(s): Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley

"How did we get talked into this?" Ron and Harry looked at each other.

"I think your wife may have threatened to release school photos to the press."

"How comes she's my wife when she threatens us, but your best friend when she's just baked a cake?"

"I didn't marry her. We could leave, the pub's still open."

"She'd track us down, like a bloody hound."

"I'll tell her you said that."

Hermione's head popped around the door.

"Come on! The kids are starting to chew the stage."

They reached for their costumes. Some one had to play the ass.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Never Trust a Weasley  
Challenge: 'the next generation'  
Character(s):Harry/Ginny

After the ambulance had left, the glass had been swept up, and the cat had been tempted out from under the spare bed with a tin of tuna, there were some explanations due.

"Your brothers promised all the bugs had been ironed out."

Ginny who had started to repair the tears in the wall paper laughed.

"You're talking about my brothers?"

"All right, I should have known. You did, keep saying I needed a new one, and they claimed it was the next generation in technology."

"Yes, but an Weasley brand electric shaver."

"Probably not my best decision I admit."


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Surprise is the Spice of Life  
Challenge: 'spice'  
Character(s):Harry Potter

"Someone could shoot him." The Order of the Pheonix stopped as everyone turned to look at Harry.

"What do you mean Harry?" Remus asked.

"Why don't we get a mini gun. Let's see Voldemort survive that." Those not familar with muggle weapons looked at Harry in puzzlement. "T. .th. .that wouldn't be right." Remus stuttered.

"What do you mean? The git killed my parents, bugger em." The adults around him were silent as they tried to think of something to say. "See how he likes me, spicing up his life." Harry grinned a dark fire burning deep in his eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

Title: 'That's What Little Girls Are Made Of'

Challenge: 'spice'  
Character(s): Fred Weasley, George Weasley

The cauldron was boiling away, filled with bubbling liquid. One twin looked down at the book.

"So what's the next thing?"

"Spice."

"What does that mean, Mum's got a whole spice rack."

Their parents had left them in the care of Bill, who had dissapeared into his room hours ago.

"I think we should it all in."

"Yeah"

As the last glass jar was poured into the cauldron giant green bubbles began to form. Exploding with a wet slosphy noise the twins and kitchen were covered in green slime.

"There must be an easier way to get a little sister."


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Never Anger the Chef  
Word Count: 100  
Character(s):Harry, Vernon Dursley, Petunia Dursley, Dudley Dursley

The screaming woke up the neighbours dog who began to bark. Inside the suburban bungalow Vernon Dursley tears pouring down his eyes, brick red and gasping clutched at his throat and pushed Petunia away from the kitchen sink so he could shove his face under the cold water tap.

Harry sat inncoently watching Dudley try to fight his father to the water.

A small smile graced harry face as he rubbed a bruise under his ribs, a present from Dudley.

He thought the recipe had said a teaspoon of chilli powder, but he added two tablespoons just to make sure.


	23. Chapter 23

Title: My Side  
Word Count: 100  
Character(s)Harry, Hermione

"What are you doing?" Hermione peered over Harry's shoulder.

"Nothing, go away." Harry hunched over his desk, wrapping an arm around the papers in front of him.

"Tell me, or I'll set Ron on you."

"You shouldn't use your husband as a threat." Hermione laughed.

"Why not, when it works so well."

"If you really want to know it's my memoirs."

"Your must be kidding? Who would what to read your life story?"

"I happen to think I lead a very interesting life."

"I know what this is about; didn't the Quibbler announce that Draco Malfoy was writing a biography?"

"Maybe."


End file.
